Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
