You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
