How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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