This is the prime rib incident all over again
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
