in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
