whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The power of my boobs compel you
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize