yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I am mentally ready for anal.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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