No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
