You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
