Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize