This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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