were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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