but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
