Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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