I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
then he tried to convert me to islam
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
