Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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