Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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