I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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