This is not my ceiling
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
