I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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