I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
