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Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
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