Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(316): View more from Kansas

Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair

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(316): Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair http://tfl.nu/yhl2

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(810): View more from Michigan

I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...

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(810): I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work... http://tfl.nu/jjaa

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.

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(609): I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk. http://tfl.nu/79zz

Replies (70) Good night (5557) Bad night (610) Order T-Shirt
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(309): View more from Illinois

My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?

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(309): My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do? http://tfl.nu/tx29

Replies (46) Good night (8652) Bad night (1030) Order T-Shirt
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(804): View more from Virginia

my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2

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(804): my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2 http://tfl.nu/hna9

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(314): View more from Missouri

I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.

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(314): I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often. http://tfl.nu/x1ce

Replies (7) Good night (3166) Bad night (720) Order T-Shirt
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(559): View more from California

Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.

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(559): Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face. http://tfl.nu/m55d

Replies (14) Good night (3023) Bad night (1419) Order T-Shirt
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(480): View more from Arizona

Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.

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(480): Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed. http://tfl.nu/mw5c

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(850): View more from Florida

We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.

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(850): We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it. http://tfl.nu/y27d

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(330): View more from Ohio

It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.

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(330): It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights. http://tfl.nu/79ia

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.

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(412): Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut. http://tfl.nu/ynt5

Replies (3) Good night (965) Bad night (392)
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(845): View more from New York

We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."

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(845): We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..." http://tfl.nu/o2g7

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?

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(615): I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it? http://tfl.nu/iois

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(908): View more from New Jersey

He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.

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(908): He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound. http://tfl.nu/kpce

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

This drive is very scenic

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

And I'm chugging whiskey in the back

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

As you should, soak in all this country has to offer

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(717): This drive is very scenic (717): And I'm chugging whiskey in the back (610): As you should, soak in all this country has to offer http://tfl.nu/nm28

Replies (1) Good night (426) Bad night (398)

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