1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life