I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Then again, he has huge mansions.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell