Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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