Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
