im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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