eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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