North Korea, Best Korea!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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