His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
