Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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