so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
