remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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