He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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