dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
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