I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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