My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
