He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
