I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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