my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize