just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize