Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i believe in u and ur pee
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
