do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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