'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
