I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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