so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
