i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
