i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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