i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
