I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
