he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
