i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
