I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
