dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
