So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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