last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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