We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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