i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
