dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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