dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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