I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
