I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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