pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
